THINGS! SO MUCH OF IT! (no.14)
plus some X-citing news at the end...
hell’s frozen over and all the devils are here, which means HEY YOU FUCKS ITSA HEAPING DOSE OF Rent’s Due: Late Summer Edition. this will definitely be a short summarization/stream of consciousness of all the wild shit that’s occurred since my last post, so i better cut the preamble and just get on with it 🫡.
well, chat, it seems like the phrase “how can i not talk about this?” can relate to a lot of things recently. Almost feels like I have to pay Billy Joel his usual royalties in Subway sandwiches to recap everything i’ve missed in a catchy and succinct manner.1
i’ll start by getting this out of the way, which was the immensely unfortunate passing of noted film lover, and notable Barron Trump-poster, Scott Wampler. for a lot of you reading this (thanks again btw) you might be wondering who Scott was, and what a writer with a knack for Stephen King and Dragula connections meant to someone like me.
Scott Wampler was someone who embodied complete fearlessness in just about anything that he wrote; this semi-ironic honesty that permeated the best of what sites like Birth.Movies.Death. had to offer. He served as another self-reminder to never fake shit in life, and inspired me in weird ass ways to obviously respect the rules, but be unafraid in making them work symbiotically with your own voice and direction.
i’d be lying if i didn’t owe a bit of my work to what Scott left behind, which are undoubtably some of the funniest and well-thought pieces of anything that i’ll ever read.
but i’m not lying, so props to him.
to Scott, a genuine real one.
MAHVEL 2 IS BACK BAYBEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
following my distastes with getting used to a non-E3 environment in my last piece (issue? post? manually-generated prompt?), i was surprisingly thrilled with the latest Nintendo Direct that capped off this Summer Mid Fest.
we had dates/details/gameplay for long-awaited titles like the Dragon Quest remake(s!) and Metroid Prime 4, as well as surprising new shit like a new Mario & Luigi RPG, Fantasian: the game that definitely never came to Apple Arcade, and a new Zelda game that pretty much plays like a narrative-driven Mario Maker with an actual playable Zelda.
but i won’t lie, my sexy pay pig of a Reader, none of them hold a candle compared the tactical strike that was the announcement of MARVEL vs. CAPCOM Fighting Collection: Arcade Classics, a compilation of all the games the two companies made together for quarter-spending freaks like me. but also mostly Marvel vs. Capcom 2!
if you don’t know why this is such a big deal to people in and out of the fighting game community, lemme lay it down for you.2 what was essentially years of strange creative meddling, new corporate takeovers, and the disappointment that was Infinite led to the series being effectively dead for years.
we’d occasionally get cool lil’ updates like Michael B. Jordan asking for MvC2 on his PS5 or the Arcade1UP cabinets, but those weren’t even close to satisfy the wants from fans who spearheaded the #FreeMvC2 movement, which was to get a readily-available, *physical* collection of the best fighting games that’ve been insanely difficult to legally play.
Marvel 2 is one of my favorite games of all time. it played a formative part in my love for comics and pretending to be good at fighting games. while it is (and has) been super easy to emulate it over the years, there really is nothing like getting an official celebratory rollout for a game that still means a lot to people.
we’ve got motherfuckers crying at this sick ass art of Cyclops and Ryu dapping up like reunited best friends3, and fans foaming at the mouth for pre-orders that i *think* broke Amazon for a bit. people want a future in MvC, and so far we’re putting money where our mouths are with this shit.
because finally, definitively and unironically, MvC 2 is absolutely positively freed. and i can’t wait to fall in love all over again.
Trump got shot in the ear, but i’m mostly pissed at Jack Black for throwing Kyle under the bus. while i check my notes here i also noticed that DC’s pulling their own Ultimate Universe and Richard Simmons died? anyway, idk where i was going with that, let’s talk about this fat fuck Boogie2988.
as you may have noticed about me, i have a strange fondness for stupid and insane YouTube drama content. while many people hold a ton of past-time passion for football or soccer, i do it for stories like this a drug-addicted music critic, who posted a photo of him with Ethan Klein before falling back on it because he “didn’t know” that liking Ethan makes you a racist or some pandering bullshit.
oh but CHAAAT, fewer drama stories haven’t been as juicy and actually career-ending than Boogie making the most asinine self-report on faking a supposed cancer diagnosis for more than three years now.4
this slice of tubby lore came right off the heels of scamming his audience into putting money on a crypto scam where, while being confronted by Coffeezilla over the phone, he says that he took the shady deal in part to pay for his treatment.
but suddenly, everyone in the commentary community started to smell the shit in the air. from Destiny to Metokur to Mutahar to even Charles White himself, people started to see the trail of evidence that pointed to Boogie being treated by a similar strain of the cancer he’s claiming to have (Polycythemia vera) that actually isn’t cancerous (Polycythemia).
the drama escalated to the point where people were placing over $80K for proof from Boogie’s end that showed he really has the cancer (money that, y’know, will actually help you pay for treating cancer).
when confronted with that proposal on Lolcow Live last week, he took this pseudo-stoic stance that the evidence of his diagnosis would never be shared on the internet while he continues to struggle to breath air on this Earth.
because, i guess for some reason, gleefully oversharing that you’re constantly spending your money on arcade cabinets and sleeping with the same prostitutes that Logan Paul fucks is more important than telling the truth about the state of your health to fans that you’ve fucked over financially.
like every other drama, this blip (or blop bc fat guy) in the Boogieverse will only die out in relevancy as it welcomes another bit of juicy online discourse, but you also can’t ignore the fact that this will haunt whatever remains of a legacy he has left forever.
a fucking dunce like IPOS can still make videos that are hopefully less ill-advised at the end of the day, but it’s hard to go lower than faking the worst illness imaginable and expect to come out the other side smelling roses. with all due disrespect, he can get fucked in hell, considering Satan or Saddam can find a spot in him to do it.
aaaaaaaaaaaaand that should do it for this article (op-ed?, blog?, where am i?)! the next couple of days are gonna be a bombardment of something i’ve been waiting all year for. with the impending release of Deadpool and Wolverine capping off the Fox era of Marvel films this month (and the increasing hype for anything X-Men at a shockingly high fever pitch), i thought it’d be fun to revisit a few films from the franchise that also served as past finales to this special film series.
just a little bantering, a little more ranting, and maybe some subliminal coping that we’ll probably never have a comic book movie as good as Logan for a very long time.
but yeah, look out for FINAL X-TINCTIONS5, where i’ll be looking back on X-Men: The Last Stand, Days of Future Past, Logan, and holy hell Dark Phoenix: a movie that definitely existed but didn’t outright hate.
this stroll down memory lane will culminate sometime within the next two weeks after I’ve seen DP36.
FINAL X-TINCTIONS.
COMING SOON.
Like really soon probably in two days or so.
okay bye.
i won’t, though. between you and me, i don’t even know how to write half the time.
by watching this Maximillian Dood video!
it’s me, i’m motherfuckers.
for the sake of not making this any longer, eh this is also just as nuts as Dr. Disrespect admitting he messaged a minor back in 2020. that news broke less than a month ago, and somehow i’ve aged 20 more years since then.
or another stupid name with X thrown in.
i regretted typing that out the first time but fuck it that’s what it’s called now.